I think a common cause of power seeking is that the individual seeks social approval and so they seek the status accorded by power. The greater this need, the weaker the original sense of self. Because the power seeker is compensating for a weak sense of self, they do not realise that in seeking power over others, they are seeking to be superior to them. This results in the brittleness of the powerful. They crave the approval of the common man, despise them for their powerlessness but see an empowerment which boosts equality as an existential threat, all at the same time. These contradictions are irresolvable and so manifest themselves in unpredictable behaviours. But it can be predicted that it will never resolve the existential weakness and so the power seeking will have no end.
I always think a true sign of power is generosity. When you see people at the top of their game, they always seem to showcase others and let them shine
Oh, man. What a gift it can be -the offer of a sound conceptualization which may be applied to any fearful or painful phenomenon. Thank you Dr. Goyle, for just such an offering, along with your invitation for continued discussion of this and other complex and painful phenomenon.
The baffling question of why the powerful are driven to achieve more power- for many of us- is a seemingly incomprehensible or irrational reality. The frighteningly enigmatic nature of this phenomenon (combined with its natural or native unpleasant associations) contributes more misery to a society than simply that which results directly from the unkind operations of the phenomenon itself.
Any matter which is objectively unpleasant or dangerous, and also is seemingly incomprehensible, can create and reinforce societal and individual experiences of fear, anxiety, confusion, dismay, and pain. On an individual level, the repeated experience of being harmed, or of witnessing harm befalling others (as a result of a seeming unrighteous pattern of powerful people becoming more powerful) can contribute to a regrettable
decrease in internal locus of control.
The bedfellows of this attitude include fear, anxiety, dread, acquiescence,
and for some, ultimately, an irrational and dangerous attitude of learned helplessness.
Suggested ways of understanding, such as those provided in the following post, represent rational thought, and encourage discussion which can provide meaningful contributions towards decreases in societal and individual suffering.
New potential conceptualizations can be such beautiful gifts to those of us stymied in fear- gifts which may foster renewed hope.
Hmmm. Power hungry people can be understood as having been raised in an environment which did not impart the value of or capacity for civility. Yes! This sensible suggestion can break apart blocks of fear held together by lack of potential explanations.
Hope, in recent years has become a gift which, in my opinion, is most worthy of gratitude and esteem and appreciation.
In fact, efforts to increase possibilities for hope have become my very favorite kind of present.
Dr. Dan Goyle has just presented such a gift. This is a point in time calling for much discussion: discussions about an apparent decrease in basic kindness between people, and other variants on that topic.
Why does it seem that many people are so categorically rude to others?
Why are some people so desperately isolated?
Why do some victims protect their abusers from the light of day?
Why do some people support leaders who may not have their best interests in mind?
And, why is it that people who have power seem to want (need?) more power?
As addressed herein, I believe this latter phenomenon becomes less frightening, more approachable, and perhaps more pliable than it may have seemed before.
A matter which is not as scary, which seems worth investigation, and which possesses perhaps more potential for pliability than it had seemed before is one which can be more readily tackled. Conversation informed by thusly altered generalizations can thereby contribute to increased hope, effort, and even change.
How very needed are these outcomes by all of us who are currently experiencing reality as unsettled, undetermined, incomprehensible, etc. Every discussion of this kind may help our society to renew and redevelop a sense of basic safety.
I think you’re right actually. I think it has more to do with belonging, power and fame being standins for the true connection and purpose they’d receive in community
I wonder how many of the proposed cabinet , all of our government, in fact, grew up in ratified environments with nannies raising them or in some other (IMO) dysfunctional version of a family where basic manners and civility were just not part of the education and might have been antithetical to survival.
“Achievement is important, but teaching kindness is more important, both for the health of civilisation, and, ultimately, to help them find connection within it”
This is what I had to learn the hard way, and I am talking about being kind to myself because kindness was missing a lot in my life.
From my perspective, as a Choice Theory psychologist, we are born with 5 psychological genetic instructions that drive all of our behavior. These NEEDS are: Safety & Security, Love & Belonging, Fun, Freedom, and POWER. There are some people who ignore all of their other needs and focus only on POWER. Generally, these are not happy nor well balanced people. They have no actual friends. Trump is a perfect example of this. He has no real friends, including his present wife and children. He has people who suck up to him, but there is no one with whom he makes an actual human connection. The man doesn’t even have a dog!
It’s all about POWER, POWER and more POWER for him.
He sure is lonely, unhappy and pathetic. And I guess he has a lot of money and power . . . but not much else, which makes him so repulsive to other people.
Well thought out. I had the good fortune to grow up in a village that supports a university. Kindness was implicitly enforced, quite strictly. The children grew up with certain advantages because of the influence of the college. But whether they became financially successful or not, perhaps what distinguishes them is that as far as I know very few if any in adulthood have become cruel or greedy. Interesting.
This essay feels like peeling back the layers of power and finding not strength, but emptiness—people who twist the world to fit their own needs because they were never taught to fit into it. The idea that the greedy remake civilization because they can’t connect within it is both tragic and haunting, like rearranging all the furniture in a house only to feel more alone. What resonates most is your connection between childhood lessons in civility and adult misuse of power—it’s a reminder of how foundational kindness and empathy are to society. Yet, in an age of social media, where algorithms reward dominance over civility, doesn’t this feedback loop seem almost inevitable? How do we restore a sense of humility and shared purpose when even the loudest voices seem to drown out humanity itself?
Thanks for this, Kuriakin. It’s a succinct take on the core issue - humanity prospered due to our ability to cooperate. We lose this at humanity’s peril.
BTW, I did try to recommend your newsletter on my new blog, but for some reason it’s not showing there. I think Substack can be a little wonky. Please do check out my blog, when you get the chance. I’m new here. Maybe we can cross-promote, but no pressure. And I’m still figuring out how this platform works, and what’s going on with that feature.
Donald and Musk is certainly not an example as these individuals does far more for humanity than all the democrats combined. I hope Dr. Goyal will write something on parasitic minds and how it affects a large proportion of humanity. You should rather have mentioned Soros being the worst for humanity followed by ....and many more. Definitely not Donald or and especially Elon Musk.
I think a common cause of power seeking is that the individual seeks social approval and so they seek the status accorded by power. The greater this need, the weaker the original sense of self. Because the power seeker is compensating for a weak sense of self, they do not realise that in seeking power over others, they are seeking to be superior to them. This results in the brittleness of the powerful. They crave the approval of the common man, despise them for their powerlessness but see an empowerment which boosts equality as an existential threat, all at the same time. These contradictions are irresolvable and so manifest themselves in unpredictable behaviours. But it can be predicted that it will never resolve the existential weakness and so the power seeking will have no end.
Money, power, they’re empty calories for the soul. Sure they might up your status in ‘the game’. But they’ll never truly satiate.
Seems to describe Donald Trump perfectly. I believe it’s called malignant narcissism. There is no cure.
Please educate yourself. Start reading up on parasitic mindsets, it's real and scary.
I always think a true sign of power is generosity. When you see people at the top of their game, they always seem to showcase others and let them shine
Oh, man. What a gift it can be -the offer of a sound conceptualization which may be applied to any fearful or painful phenomenon. Thank you Dr. Goyle, for just such an offering, along with your invitation for continued discussion of this and other complex and painful phenomenon.
The baffling question of why the powerful are driven to achieve more power- for many of us- is a seemingly incomprehensible or irrational reality. The frighteningly enigmatic nature of this phenomenon (combined with its natural or native unpleasant associations) contributes more misery to a society than simply that which results directly from the unkind operations of the phenomenon itself.
Any matter which is objectively unpleasant or dangerous, and also is seemingly incomprehensible, can create and reinforce societal and individual experiences of fear, anxiety, confusion, dismay, and pain. On an individual level, the repeated experience of being harmed, or of witnessing harm befalling others (as a result of a seeming unrighteous pattern of powerful people becoming more powerful) can contribute to a regrettable
decrease in internal locus of control.
The bedfellows of this attitude include fear, anxiety, dread, acquiescence,
and for some, ultimately, an irrational and dangerous attitude of learned helplessness.
Suggested ways of understanding, such as those provided in the following post, represent rational thought, and encourage discussion which can provide meaningful contributions towards decreases in societal and individual suffering.
New potential conceptualizations can be such beautiful gifts to those of us stymied in fear- gifts which may foster renewed hope.
Hmmm. Power hungry people can be understood as having been raised in an environment which did not impart the value of or capacity for civility. Yes! This sensible suggestion can break apart blocks of fear held together by lack of potential explanations.
Hope, in recent years has become a gift which, in my opinion, is most worthy of gratitude and esteem and appreciation.
In fact, efforts to increase possibilities for hope have become my very favorite kind of present.
Dr. Dan Goyle has just presented such a gift. This is a point in time calling for much discussion: discussions about an apparent decrease in basic kindness between people, and other variants on that topic.
Why does it seem that many people are so categorically rude to others?
Why are some people so desperately isolated?
Why do some victims protect their abusers from the light of day?
Why do some people support leaders who may not have their best interests in mind?
And, why is it that people who have power seem to want (need?) more power?
As addressed herein, I believe this latter phenomenon becomes less frightening, more approachable, and perhaps more pliable than it may have seemed before.
A matter which is not as scary, which seems worth investigation, and which possesses perhaps more potential for pliability than it had seemed before is one which can be more readily tackled. Conversation informed by thusly altered generalizations can thereby contribute to increased hope, effort, and even change.
How very needed are these outcomes by all of us who are currently experiencing reality as unsettled, undetermined, incomprehensible, etc. Every discussion of this kind may help our society to renew and redevelop a sense of basic safety.
Much gratitude Dr.Dan!
I can’t wait for more!
Thank you Carolyn, for such an engaged feedback and for pushing us on. The extra motivation is most helpful.
it is indeed better to be kind and gracious alway..
it is better to be kind than be right..
if one is kind they may get another shot at getting it right ..
Perhaps it’s not power they want…..otherwise they’d be satisfied by getting what they want .
I think you’re right actually. I think it has more to do with belonging, power and fame being standins for the true connection and purpose they’d receive in community
Spot on, yet again, Dr. I am so glad that I discovered your posts.
I wonder how many of the proposed cabinet , all of our government, in fact, grew up in ratified environments with nannies raising them or in some other (IMO) dysfunctional version of a family where basic manners and civility were just not part of the education and might have been antithetical to survival.
“Achievement is important, but teaching kindness is more important, both for the health of civilisation, and, ultimately, to help them find connection within it”
This is what I had to learn the hard way, and I am talking about being kind to myself because kindness was missing a lot in my life.
From my perspective, as a Choice Theory psychologist, we are born with 5 psychological genetic instructions that drive all of our behavior. These NEEDS are: Safety & Security, Love & Belonging, Fun, Freedom, and POWER. There are some people who ignore all of their other needs and focus only on POWER. Generally, these are not happy nor well balanced people. They have no actual friends. Trump is a perfect example of this. He has no real friends, including his present wife and children. He has people who suck up to him, but there is no one with whom he makes an actual human connection. The man doesn’t even have a dog!
It’s all about POWER, POWER and more POWER for him.
He sure is lonely, unhappy and pathetic. And I guess he has a lot of money and power . . . but not much else, which makes him so repulsive to other people.
Nothing is enough for Narcissists not enough attention ,or praising etc I think most rulers are this
Well thought out. I had the good fortune to grow up in a village that supports a university. Kindness was implicitly enforced, quite strictly. The children grew up with certain advantages because of the influence of the college. But whether they became financially successful or not, perhaps what distinguishes them is that as far as I know very few if any in adulthood have become cruel or greedy. Interesting.
This essay feels like peeling back the layers of power and finding not strength, but emptiness—people who twist the world to fit their own needs because they were never taught to fit into it. The idea that the greedy remake civilization because they can’t connect within it is both tragic and haunting, like rearranging all the furniture in a house only to feel more alone. What resonates most is your connection between childhood lessons in civility and adult misuse of power—it’s a reminder of how foundational kindness and empathy are to society. Yet, in an age of social media, where algorithms reward dominance over civility, doesn’t this feedback loop seem almost inevitable? How do we restore a sense of humility and shared purpose when even the loudest voices seem to drown out humanity itself?
Thanks for this, Kuriakin. It’s a succinct take on the core issue - humanity prospered due to our ability to cooperate. We lose this at humanity’s peril.
Very insightful! Goes a long way to explain Donald Trump, Elon Musk, and others, as well.
BTW, I did try to recommend your newsletter on my new blog, but for some reason it’s not showing there. I think Substack can be a little wonky. Please do check out my blog, when you get the chance. I’m new here. Maybe we can cross-promote, but no pressure. And I’m still figuring out how this platform works, and what’s going on with that feature.
Donald and Musk is certainly not an example as these individuals does far more for humanity than all the democrats combined. I hope Dr. Goyal will write something on parasitic minds and how it affects a large proportion of humanity. You should rather have mentioned Soros being the worst for humanity followed by ....and many more. Definitely not Donald or and especially Elon Musk.
Trump and Musk are the parasites, preying on society to enrich themselves.
The ego has an insatiable appetite.